①In my opinion, students are more influenced by their friends rather than their teachers. Therefore, I disagree with the statement "Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends."

解析：很简单，很直接地陈述作者自己的观点。并不影响得分。为写开头段苦恼的同学，完全可以模仿这种写法。

②I do not disagree with the fact that students get influenced by their teachers, however, I believe that this "influence" is mostly within the field of academics. In most cases, the only time that students communicate with the teacher is in the school building, in the classroom. Most of the discussions are about topics related to studies. However, with friends, students often tend to discuss a variety of topics, such as studies, friends, relationships, and families. Therefore, students are generally influenced more broadly by their friends, while the only influence made by the teachers are mostly academical.

解析：让步反段。先承认，学生确实会被老师影响。但是，主要是在”academics“ 学术领域。简单展开后，和朋友对比。在此之外，学生们更愿意跟朋友谈论更多样的话题。 

③The amount of time spent with the teacher or friend, also effect on how much influence has been made to a person. As mentioned previously, the time that students communicate with the teachers is restricted to school hours. However, students spend or communicate with their friends not only in school but even outside the school campus and school hours. Especially with the emerging technology, and the development of mobile phones and the internet, students are now able to communicate with their friends at any time where ever they are. Since the amount of time spent communicating with their friends are much larger than the time spent with the teachers, there are more chance of the students being influenced by their friends rather than their teachers.

解析：列举。第2个比较点，学生跟老师交流的时间有限。但是跟朋友们不仅在校内，也会在校外交流。

④Also, it is normal that the students feel psychologically more attached to the people in their age group, especially with their friends. The teachers are usually from different generations from the students and this may cause the students to feel that there is a distance between how they think/feel and how the teachers think/feel. Since the students are more emotionally and psychologically attached to their friends, they feel more comfortable to discuss their issues with them and accept their responses more openly and easily. This fact relates directly to how much they are influenced by their friends.

解析：对比。第3个对比点，因为年龄的差距，跟老师有代沟"there is a distance.."。但是跟朋友，就没有这样的差距，所以学生在心里上就更愿意跟朋友讨论。

⑤For these reasons, I believe that students are more influenced by their friends than by their teachers.

解析：结尾简单明了，收束全文。

“This essay earns a high score. It does an excellent job in terms of topic development and organization.”  

这篇文章得了高分，它在文段展开和结构方面做的非常优秀。

TIPS

总结

托福独立写作的评分标准，一共有3个要点：

1. Development

2. Organization

3. Language use

看上去这三个标准好像没有任何的操作性，但是，上面的三个标准就是：有展开、有逻辑、少犯错。

从这篇High-Level的独立写作范文来看，单纯套用模板背例子，在托福写作中是行不通的，真正行得通的，是文章逻辑完整，有理有据地让考官看懂你的观点。

- END -

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